So I have been thinking a bit about things today. I don't know why I have to learn the same lessons over and over again. God has to put the same things on my heart over and over sometimes, before I can seem to figure it out. I don't even know if I have it figured out yet. But something I am sure of is this. I can be really mean spirited with and with out realizing it. I say things so many times and don't realize how horrible it sounded till later. I can tear people down in an instant. Why do I do that? Why do I feel the need to be negative sometimes? Why does this happen to me? I really want to be someone who is positive and truly good. But at times I just find myself falling into that old way of acting, ugh, I hate that. I was treated so ugly by people in school as a child, so I know how it feels. Why would I do that? I usually don't mean to be that way, but I am. I want so much to be a person who people want to be around, and at times I am. But every now and again, I just hit this little place in myself. I am thinking that this is something I am going to need to do some more thinking and praying on. All of that being said, I am not always negative or ugly. I can be quite bubbly, well maybe not bubbly. But a generally happy person none the less. I do try to find the humor in life, and I do try to give good healthy advice to others. At times though, I think people just need to hear it like it is. It's far easier to be very honest then to beat around the bush. But one must remember to respect the feelings of others too. It's a fine line you walk when you have others in your life. Perhaps I should go live as a hermit for a while. maybe then I could get through a week with out offending someone. I just wish I could be like some of the people I know, and always be lifting people up. I guess I will just have to try to work harder at it. Being in a thinking mood is always interesting.
On another subject I am feeling happy tonight. I managed to get my little dog Joey to take his meds with out a fight. He didnt find the pill hidden in the hot dog so I am happy about that. Hopefully he won't wise up before he takes the other 9 pills. He is such a funny little dog. I just hope the pills will calm his stomach down, and help him. He irritates me beyond belief at times, but I love him so much! Lately he has been stuck like glue to me. If I go to the bathroom he follows me. The cat does too, and Julia sits out side the bathroom cries and bangs on the door. So going pee is a fabulous event. My little Julia girl is starting to walk alot more. Give her another month and she will hopefully be walking full time. I want her to be, but she is a stubborn girl and definately has her own mind about everything. She will be doing really good on something and then just suddenly stop! Why? UGH!! So we are learning together. It takes time to accomplish everything. And it takes more time for her to decide she wants to do something. But I love her so much, and her daddy loves her so much. She is a very blessed little girl! There is almost no one in her life who isn't totally in love with her. Or who does't just want to see her and see how she is doing. So happy about that, and for how good of a girl she is. She definately likes to test her boundaries, but in the end she always comes back to where she needs to be. I love her for that, and the fact that she is so independant. It makes my life so fun, because I can actually relate to her on some level. She is learning how to communicate alot more clearly. It makes things easier and more interesting. She is a little parrot so you really have to watch what you say and do. Well I think I will close tonights blog on this note: As humans we all have to be able to be our best critic and alli.
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